Tears No One Can See
by Priestess Mayumi
Summary: On the anniversary of Skyla's husband's death, she goes through a tragic battle of wills not only with Skyclone, but with herself as well.
1. Chapter 1

Tears No One Can See

Author's note: This is a short approx. 3-5 chapter fic about Skyla's point of view during the episode "Lonely Heart", which our dear friend AlyssC01 has so generously uploaded on You Tube for our enjoyment. It might make sense to watch the episode before reading this fic…but if you'd like to do the opposite, that's cool too.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sky Dancers…period.

Shameless advertising: I just got finished with my very first Sky Dancer's AMV! It's on You Tube now, and I'll extraordinarily proud of it. It's a Skyclone/Skyla AMV set to the song "Hellfire" from the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Check it out, and I would be very happy.

Well, enjoy and please review!

Luvs, as always,

Priestess Mayumi

**Chapter One:**

The alarm clock beeped incessantly as the time, 5:30 AM, flashed across the screen. The form in the bed stirred sleepily as the alarm roused the mind to full consciousness. Strangely, the clock did not stop beeping. The owner, usually promptly aroused by the clock, had been seduced by the notion of lying in bed all day and simply letting the world roll by. Her wake-up caller, of course, could not allow this and kept screaming at her with shrill syncopated tones.

Finally Skyla, fed up with the whole situation by now, reluctantly rolled over toward the nightstand where the clock was and unsuccessfully tried to reach the "off" button. It was too far to be reached from her current position and she was too lazy to move herself closer. Ultimately, resolved to get rid of the unwanted ruckus, she swung her arm as far as she could over the bedside, tipping the nightstand over and knocking the clock monumentally to the ground where it promptly shut up.

Her satisfaction was short-lived as she realized that if the clock was broken, she would have to replace it.

Skyla pulled herself up to a sitting position on her bed. Her neck ached and she reached her hand sleepily up to rub it. Her neck was always strained in the morning if her night's sleep had been restless, and last night certainly had been.

_Why is that? _She thought to herself. She didn't have any need to be stressed. There were no impending tours to schedule, no recitals to plan, and no competitions to practice for. It was mid-September and…

_Wait. That's exactly right. It's mid-September. Does that mean…_

The dance instructor jumped out of the bed with new fervor and rushed to the calendar hanging next to her mirror, only to have her suspicions confirmed.

_Today is the 16__th__ of September. That means…that tomorrow…_

She caught herself just before cursing under her breath. She was shocked at herself. She knew better than to swear like that. But a part of her couldn't help it. It seemed that September 17th came earlier every year.

Skyla had only ever tasted alcohol once, on a whim as a stupid teenager. There was a reason why she hadn't gotten closer since. She had found out that she could not, without exception, hold alcohol. The hangover seemed to last forever and it seemed like there were demons with razor sharp knives beating around her skull.

That hangover had been like a candle before an inferno compared to what she was feeling now. _Maybe,_ she thought, _that's why people get drunk when they feel crummy…because it can't hurt them much more than what's already wrong with them._

She stared over from the calendar to her bed, half longing to just lie down and go back to sleep, but she knew she couldn't. She was already up…there was no point in trying to get back to sleep.

Skyla stumbled hazily over to her closet and opened it, pulling out her favorite green dress and folding it gently over her arm. She then walked to her bed and sat down on it, placing the dress on the bed beside her. Her light, pink linen chemise slipped right off of her shoulders and onto the floor and the soft green dress went over her body like cool water. Her brain was on autopilot now, simply moving through her routine like a well-programmed machine. All the time, that horrible word was echoing through her head like a curse.

_Tomorrow_

_Tomorrow_

_Tomorrow_

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Skyla moved through the morning like a zombie, half-consciously shouting out tempos and counts. Her head was pounding and her body was so numb that she could barely even feel it moving.

She didn't feel like eating during her lunch break, so she just wandered aimlessly through the academy's gardens. It was only when she paused to stare at one of the sundials in the garden that she half-woke from her trance of:

_Tomorrow_

_Tomorrow_

_Tomorrow_

Lunch was over now, and her Sky Dancers would already be warming up for their afternoon session with their teacher. She needed to get there fast before she was late.

So Skyla decided to take a shortcut through the bushes. She would probably get some greenery stuck in her long, ash-blond hair, but she couldn't be late.

"Hey, Angelica! You're looking totally fresh!"

That gave Skyla a start. _That is Breeze's voice! What is he doing outside of warm-ups? He's usually always there way ahead of time._

She brushed the last branches in front of her aside and looked through the clearing to see Angelica and Breeze on the path. Angelica was sporting a lovely violet-red dress that looked like quite a recent purchase. The dress showed off her figure and made her look taller and more statuesque. She looked quite lovely…and Breeze obviously agreed.

"New outfit," Angelica replied. "Hot off the rack."

Breeze looked the young country dancer up and down again and gave an impressed whistle. "And, hot on you!"

Angelica blushed proudly at the compliment. "I did the 'mall thing' this weekend. My parents spoil me _rotten_ when I go back home."

That remark sort of struck Skyla in a hard place. Her own parents had died when she was quite young and she had been raised by the palace servants and unofficially adopted by Skyler's father, King Skyhawk. The king had been a good friend of her mother's and had treated her like his own daughter.

And she, too, had been spoiled rotten by the royal family.

But Skyhawk was gone as well. He had passed on several years ago. She hadn't felt the hurt for his death in so long…but now it was stinging her heart.

"Yes, siree," Breeze continued as he circled Angelica, "you're definitely scoring with this dude!" The young man flashed a thumbs-up at her and continued with, "It breaks my eye."

Something caught at Skyla's throat. Skyler had used to throw her sweet compliments exactly like Breeze was doing now, even after they had gotten married. He didn't have to…and some of the crazy fashions she had dared to try as a teen had been…well, less than flattering. But that hadn't mattered to him. He told her that she made everything she wore look beautiful.

She'd _always_ fallen for it, too.

"Keep this up," giggled Angelica, "and I'll carry your dance bag to class."

Skyla had decided that this needed to stop **right now**. "Speaking of _class_…" She stepped out of the bushes and confronted her two young students. "Shouldn't you two be spending a little more time at the ballet bar?"

Looking flustered, Breeze and Angelica stepped out their intimate position and Breeze floundered to come up with a response. "I…was just about to."

"_Gee_, Dame Skyla," slurred Angelica, a picture of innocence. "I only wanted to take a break…"

"Until Breeze stopped you and told you how 'fresh' you looked." Skyla chastened her strictly. "The _only_ result is that you're both going to perform _far_ belong my expectations of you at the next audition."

Angelica and Breeze's eyes were widening in surprise. They'd _never _seen Dame Skyla like this before. Even Skyla was surprised at the words coming out of her own mouth, but she had already let those harsh words slip out. Besides, they should be in practice and not socializing. _This is an academy…not a day-care._

Walking past her students, and with the image of Skyler pushing her out of his arms for the last time, and that terrible word:

_Tomorrow_

_Tomorrow_

_Tomorrow_

…ringing through her head, she turned and added one last parting shot.

"Maybe you'd better decide what's more important, Angelica. Getting compliments…or getting a _career_."

Skyla sped away before her students had time to respond to her uncharacteristically hurtful comments.


	2. Chapter 2

Okey-dokey…here's the next chapter! Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for the comments! Keep 'em coming! That's what I feed to the plot bunnies.

**Chapter Two:**

Finally the clock struck midnight. Skyla sighed. It was now officially September 17th. It was the anniversary of Skyler's…

The cursed word _tomorrow_ had vanished, replaced by a word far more horrible and evocative:

_Today_

Skyla was in the very bottom floor of the Hall of Music Boxes. The lovely boxes, usually playing their sweet tunes, were now silent, as though they were also mourning her loss.

After a moment of eerie silence, the music started. It only played once a year, and for all she knew, she was the only one who could hear it. It played for only her.

Once, when she had visited Ireland, the locals had taught her about the role music played in their legends. They called it 'ceol as binne de gach ceol' –music sweeter than all music. It was supposed to be some sort of magical music that only fairies could make…music that was supposed to have some sort of magical quality.

The music _was _magic: of that she was sure. She knew of no instrument in Earth or the Sky Realm could imitate the sound of this ghostly serenade that only played once a year. The tune was seductive…and like a siren's song, it pulled you in if you weren't paying attention. Well, Skyla's ability to pay attention had been seriously watered down by now…

And just like that, without even thinking about it, she gave her body and mind away to the music. It was the price she had to pay to be with Skyler…even if his presence was just a mirage.

And so…she danced. The walls all melted away until only the thin structure of a dais remained. The smell of flowers filled her nose and she could feel the light autumn breeze blow through her hair. And suddenly, she felt a strong hand on hers, and another around her waist.

_Skyler_

She didn't dare open her eyes to look at him, fearing that if she looked everything, including her dear husband, would melt away like ice cream on a hot July day. Feeling his touch and hearing his voice would have to be enough for her.

_"How I thrill at holding you in my arms, my darling."_ Skyler whispered sweetly in her ear, pulling her closer to him, the ghostly form enveloping her with Skyler's scent and everything else that reminded her of him.

"And how I love you, Skyler," she moaned back, wistfully. "How I miss you, my dear husband…" She kept spinning around on the dance floor, trying to get back something that was already gone. The sad thing was, she hadn't known that it existed until it had vanished. She didn't want this moment to end. She felt like she was on a high, and the minute the dance ended, she knew that she would crash.

As she moved slower and slower, she realized that the music was winding down, getting softer and softer. She dreaded its end…wished that this mysterious melody was like her music boxes: a song that could continue on forever as long as you kept winding the key on the box.

But, no. This music wasn't like that. The melody's _retardando_ was imminent, and once it stopped, there was no way to start it again. As she spun out of Skyler's arms, the music came to an end. It was only then that Skyla dared to open her eyes.

He was gone. Skyler…her one true love, was gone. And he wasn't **ever** coming back. The thought brought tears to her eyes, and she felt the muscles in her face twitch sadly. She pushed the tears back down her throat, like she had trained herself to do. The tears didn't –couldn't- matter anymore. And so she had learned not to cry.

"A dream," she muttered to no one in particular. "Just a dream…"

She walked sadly over to her music boxes, laying a hand on the one Skyler had given her for her sixteenth birthday, hoping that a little bit of his aura still lingered around it. She heard Whirl and Twirl behind her, moaning the loss of their master. It never ceased to amaze her how they remembered this date every year without even being reminded.

She wished that she _didn't_ have to be reminded. "Every year is as sad as the first since I lost you, Skyler. Lost you…_forever_. You kept the Wingdom safe…now I keep you in my heart." She knew that that was the only place Skyler lived…in her lovelorn, heartsick, delusional, childish heart and memories. She wasn't a child anymore…so why was she still playing these silly games of make-believe?

She was so emotionally exhausted that she didn't remember walking to the door, trying to turn the doorknob unsuccessfully, slumping down by the wall, and falling into a dreamless sleep.

"I am going to the Wingdom today. I expect you all to behave responsibly while I am gone." That's what Skyla told her students the next morning, still frazzled from her experience early this morning. She needed to go to the Sky Realm and have some alone time to…be with…_him_.

"Well, actually, Dame Skyla, we'd rather come with you." Jade smiled at her teacher enthusiastically.

"Yeah," added Slam. "We'd all like a little vacation to the Sky Realm." Her other students echoed what Jade and Slam had already said.

"I'm only going to the Wingdom for a day," Skyla replied, a little tensely. It's not that she didn't want them accompanying her…but she needed to be alone. "There's no crisis, so I don't really understand why you're _all _insisting on coming along. You can very well rehearse while I'm gone; you can all use the practice."

Cart wheeling over from the ballet bar, Angelica landed in front of her and smiled, her positive energy seemingly having rebounded from Skyla's lecture of yesterday. "We thought you might like some company."

Skyla shifted uneasily. Company was the last thing she wanted. Her students were far too young and innocent to be corrupted by the devil she carried inside of her. She didn't want them to see her like…

"Company? No. A dance company? Yes."

But her students were not to be dissuaded. By the time Skyla's excuses had all run out, the five young adults were more determined than ever to come along. Seeing that she wasn't going to be able to deter them, Skyla sighed sadly and started towards the music room with all five of them right behind her.

"Very well, my Sky Dancers. The Wingdom awaits us."


	3. Chapter 3

All right, here we go: Chapter Three. Sadly, unlike _some _people we know *cough* Alyss *cough*, I'm not writing this from any place exotic. How tragic. =) But, be that as it may, I have managed to turn out another horribly sad chapter. Yep…that's me. So, here goes.

PLEASE comment! You guys have been great in that regard so far, but I can always use more!

More shameless advertising for me: 1) I have another Sky Dancers AMV on You Tube. This one is about Skyler and Skyla. Go watch it! 2) I'm starting a story on You Tube and need voice actors/actresses. If you're interested, go check it out! 3) I may (and that's a BIG may) be voicing over a few Sky Dancers episodes soon. I need everyone's opinion about this, so tell me what you think.

Keep checking our archives for new writers…they need our support as well.

Disclaimer: Don't own it…period.

Enough chitchat! Let's get to what you clicked on the link for!

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"I think I need a little time to myself." Skyla and her Sky Dancers had arrived in the Wingdom. She'd been a little uneasy, flying here with them on a day like today, but she hadn't said anything.

Now, however, she really needed them to go away.

"Okay, Queen Skyla," Angelica responded softly, sympathy swelling in her voice. "We'll be here if you need us."

For a moment, Skyla felt the sudden urge to ask them to stay with her. She shook that away fast. It was a selfish thought. She couldn't ask that of them.

"Thank you," she whispered sadly, "but I really _must_ be alone." With that she, Whirl, and Twirl left the group. She wandered a bit through the palace, taking in the place she had known for almost her whole life. Everywhere she turned, she saw _him_. He was everywhere. Occasionally she stopped in a room just so that she could feel his haunting presence.

One place she stopped was the parlor. In the parlor was the most beautiful and expensive piano in the whole Sky Realm. She had given it to Skyler as an anniversary present. Back then, she had only known how to play the harp. Since Skyler's…death, however, she had learned piano. It had been Skyler's favorite instrument.

She sat down in front of the piano and ran her hands over the ivory keys, inlaid with gold. Unbidden, her fingers started to move over the keys, and she began to play. She remembered the first time that she had seen "Les Miserables" on Broadway. When she'd heard Fantine's solo for the first time, she had burst out into tears so bitter that the entire audience in her section had turned around: half in annoyance and half in concern. It was that song that she played now:

_I dreamed a dream in days gone by_

_When hope was high_

_And life worth living_

_I dreamed that love would never die_

_I dreamed that God would be forgiving_

_Then I was young and unafraid_

_And dreams were made, and used_

_And wasted_

_There was no ransom to be paid_

_No song unsung_

_No wine untasted_

_But the tigers come at night_

_With their voice as soft as thunder_

_As they tear your hope apart_

_And they turn your dream to shame_

_He spent a summer by my side_

_He filled my days with endless wonder_

_He took my childhood in his stride_

_But he was gone when autumn came_

_And still I dream he'll come to me_

_And that we'll live the years together_

_But there are dreams that cannot be_

_And there are storms we cannot weather_

_I had a dream my life could be_

_So different from this hell I'm living_

_So different now from what it seemed_

_Now life has killed the dream_

_I dreamed_

She hadn't cried at the sound of that song since that day. Even now, she didn't shed a tear. She had none left to shed.

"Skyla…"

Startled at the voice, and a little annoyed that her Sky Dancers had bothered her when she'd wanted to be alone, Skyla turned around to face the intruder.

It wasn't whom she had expected. "April…"

The red-haired women stepped into the room. She was a few years Skyla's junior, but her brow was already creased with worry lines. She and Skyla had known each other for several years. April held a high position on the council. Skyla relied on her for advice…plus she was the Wingdom's 'techie'.

"I knew you'd come today."

"Of course I came!" Skyla snapped. "You KNOW that today is…"

Interrupting, April interjected, "Yes, I know what today is."

"If you know, then leave me ALONE!"

April blinked, startled. However, she knew that Skyla didn't mean the things she said. The strong, funny, smart woman that April admired died every September 17th and wasn't resurrected until the 18th. "I'll leave…I just came to see if you were okay."

"I'm fine. What did you expect?"

Now Skyla's attitude was starting to get to her, even though April had tried to keep her patience. "I'm worried about you because every September 17th I find you dangling over a balcony, inspecting medicines in the infirmary, or in a closet claiming that you got locked in and cut your wrists on the hangers trying to get out!"

Skyla's eyes were fuming now. "So you came to see if I was going to commit suicide? Is _that_ it?"

Upset now, April stormed over to the piano and slammed it shut. "Skyla…you may have grown up as the king's ward. You may be the widow of our late king. You may be our queen, but you need to _get over yourself!_"

Skyla was shocked. "W-what?"

"The world doesn't revolve around you, Skyla! There are other people who are hurting." April's voice softened as she said, "…even on September 17th."

The tears almost came, but they didn't. Skyla got up from the piano and looked her friend in the eyes. "Forgive me, April. I've been selfish."

April tried to go to Skyla, to throw her arms around her and comfort her, but the queen brushed her away. April realized then, for the first time since Skyler's death, that Skyla wouldn't accept anyone's help or compassion. She couldn't.

She slumped into the nearest chair and started to cry for her dear friend.

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"Skyler, I know that you can hear me! I only wish…that I could see you again! Just once! I need to hold you…to hold on to your memory."

Skyla cried this mournful speech out over the silent wind, knowing it would somehow reach her beloved. She realized how pitiful…how desperate her voice sounded. That was the problem, though. She was pitiful. She _was_ desperate.

She flew for a while, finally stopping at the dais. When she landed, she felt a chilly breath of autumn air. Startled by the wind's coldness, she put her hands on her shoulders and arms to warm herself.

"Oh, Skyler…I need you more than ever. I remembered _my_ promise…now _you_ remember _yours!" _ She pleaded.

It was only then, that she felt a presence behind her, and turned around to look…


End file.
